“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of not knowing.”
– Mark Z. Danielewski
I love this time of year. It’s those few weeks squeezed between holidays where I start to reflect on the past year and prepare for the next.
It’s also the time of year where I’m constantly tempted by too much to eat. Last weekend it was dinner with friends twice. Receiving a box of the world’s best ever homemade almond roca. And indulging in Raclette with some dear friends.
I didn’t know what Raclette was but let’s just say I was pleasantly surprised by something that involves lots of melted cheese, potatoes, thinly sliced meats and white wine. Oh yeah!
Now onto this week’s thoughts…
Lying in bed.
Staring at the darkness.
Mind racing with a million thoughts.
“Can I really do this?”
“What if people don’t like it?”
“What if I have to get another corporate job?”
“Can I pull this off?”
“Am I trying to do too much?”
“Am I doing enough?”
These are real thoughts for me.
I feel the overwhelm of them hitting me like a tsunami.
There I am, lying in bed, feeling the pressure of seizing this moment, grasping for sureness, and questioning my ability to rise to the challenge.
My mind searches desperately for answers, reviewing timelines and to-dos. Analyzing my rhythm of productivity. Wondering if I am doing the right things. Recommitting to sound habits. And setting boundaries for creation.
In this yearning for certainty, I hear a soft whisper: “Embrace the unknown”
My mind begins to slow.
“Embrace the unknown” grows louder.
I pause to reflect.
“Embrace the unknown.”
The truth is: As much as I can plan, prepare and try to predict, I don’t know if I can do this, if people will like it, if I can pull this off, if I’ll have to get another corporate job, if I’m trying to do too much, or not enough.
I won’t know until I find out.
And, most importantly:
Be willing to trust myself and try.
To choose growth over perfection.
Uncertainty over stagnancy.
Challenge over predictability.
Breathing over thinking.
And giving this moment my all.
P.S. How do you embrace the unknown?